Water Wisdom: The Power of No

In our consciousness, there are many negative seeds and also many positive seeds. The practice is to avoid watering the negative seeds, and to identify and water the positive seeds every day.

– Thich Nhat Hanh

Water continues to show us that choices matter. Discernment matters. Explicit or implicit, we make choices everyday in where we place our attention (What You Water Thrives), how we shape our environment (Shape a Beautiful Container), the extent to which we follow a path of purpose (Purpose is Power).

In a Women’s Water Circle last week, when asked the question: What does it mean to you to Shape a Beautiful Container?, one woman spoke of the power of saying No. No to what doesn’t serve; No to time commitments taking you from your purpose; No to things that feel out of alignment. And, simply No when you just don’t feel like it.

Anyone who has navigated the endless stream of willful No’s pouring from the mouth of a two-year old differentiating herself from her mother—No, I will not wear that beautiful dress; No, I don’t want the pancakes I just asked you to make; No No No No No—will recognize the power of the primordial No. We were all born with it. And, then, society intervened and ladened us with rules and social norms and family expectations that, quite often, deviate wildly from our heart’s song. Some of these measures are necessary for us to live in civil society; others purely break our hearts. And, yet, so often we comply.

Our discussion of the power of No prompted another woman to share that the need to stay safe while living in a city during Covid, and the resulting isolation, boundaries, and withdrawal, had primed her to say No—so often she had become accustomed to keeping to herself. Her decision to join the Circle that evening had been a very deliberate choice to say Yes. The kind of Yes that requires courage, beckons expansion, and may feel uncomfortable.

Every No we offer is a choice. Every Yes we offer is a choice. A heart-centered No makes room for the things that matter most to you, while a well-chosen (F*ck) Yes provides the opportunity for growth and magic. Choose wisely.